


Parades, Pansy, and fuck I’m too gay for this

by false_heteros



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: A lot of pureblood bullshit, Cedric Diggory Dies, Draco is Sad, F/F, Gay Draco Malfoy, Gay Harry Potter, Harry Needs a Hug, Loneliness, M/M, Mentions of past child abuse, Modern Era, Pride, Pride Parades, Pride is at the end :), Sirius Black Lives, past homophobia
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-08-10
Updated: 2020-08-10
Packaged: 2021-03-05 22:34:37
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,227
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25822963
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/false_heteros/pseuds/false_heteros
Summary: After the war, Draco, who had been staying at home like a fucking hermit till Pansy came along, finally finds out about the LGBTQ+ Community, he dives head first into research and is amazed at what he finds.Harry wanders muggle London once every few days. Blending with the crowd and not feeling different for once. He comes along a group of people with beautiful colours around them.“What are they doing?”
Relationships: Draco Malfoy/Blaise Zabini (past), Draco Malfoy/Harry Potter, Hermione Granger/Ron Weasley, Pansy Parkinson/Ginny Weasley, Sirius Black/Remus Lupin, harry/Cedric (one sided)
Comments: 12
Kudos: 79
Collections: Very Drarry Summer Vibes 2020





	Parades, Pansy, and fuck I’m too gay for this

**Author's Note:**

  * For [spaceaas](https://archiveofourown.org/users/spaceaas/gifts).



Queer. 

A word used with hate in Malfoy Manor, like Mudbloods and half-bloods, a queer was described as someone who was beneath them. Draco always thought he was above everything. His parents had taught him that he should live like a king. Treat everyone like dirt and himself like royalty. He had made fun of Weasley for being poor, he called Granger a Mudblood. He teased Potter mercifully about his dead parents. He had said every and any nasty thing he could with a proud smirk on his face.

Except for the one word. 

Keeping that word in a small glass box and locking it in the deepest parts of his mind—making sure not even the strongest Occlumens could open it. He trained with Professor Snape to make sure that Voldemort never found that part of his mind, and he got the natural skills from his mother and Bellatrix.

“Lock your secrets in a book, and turn your mind into a library,” they had told him. 

Only show the book you want them to see. Rather than a wall, make an illusion. Make them see only what they want. A little secret that could be made big. Let emotions leak out but only enough that they think you're hiding them.

_‘Blaise, no one can know about this, okay?’_

_‘I’m not stupid Draco. I know that, I know you have to go and marry some rich pureblood woman, produce a child and make him miserable while he’s growing up. As for now just shut up and let me kiss you.’_

Draco had dated Blaise between 5th and 7th year. It was the one stable thing going on between the war. The closer both of them got the more Draco realized he couldn't stay with Blaise. It was too risky for both of them. Voldemort killed gay people like sheep. He had counts on his wall of how many he had hurt, Draco had seen them himself, forever engraved on the manor walls.

For his and Blaise’s safety Draco trained with his mother and Snape almost every day. Working on always keeping a blank face, deceiving others. They trained for a year, right until Draco got the dark mark. The training had helped Draco fool the Dark Lord. Let memories slip like drops of honey. 

*

After the war things had been different. The Malfoy name was left in the dirt and Draco a part of it. He stayed at the manor for most of his days and sometimes went to muggle bars in the attempt to drown his problems. Draco’s silky hair was now long enough to braid, but no one was there to see it. His mother was exiled to another country, while his father was going to be in prison for the rest of his life. Draco missed his parents but never felt sorry for them. After all, they got what they deserved no matter how hard Draco didn’t want to accept it.

Being lonely was something he was used too. The cold walls of the manor where his parents were too busy to pay attention to him seemed almost the same, as long as he avoided the dining room and dungeons.

One day Pansy had come to the Manor with her sly attitude and a smirk on her face that could only mean trouble. She was holding a bright pamphlet in her hand, it was filled to the brim with bright colours and smiling people, all dancing and enjoying their time. Pansy then explained that there was a muggle month dedicated to people who were different.

_“People like you and me! Draco, they call it Pride. There’s a whole community for people like you and me, don’t start with the ‘I’m not like you’ thing again. We both know you’re lying.”_

Getting trapped in Pansy’s little web, Draco started reading and researching the topic, finding out about the LGBTQIA+ community and how they were born because of the stonewall riots. He learned that it was okay to love whoever you wanted or have a different gender than the one you were born as. The glass box that had taken so long to make had fallen to the floor and cracked. It was still very much stable but light was poking inside now. Draco was remembering things he was taught to keep shut. 

Draco went to a Pride parade in muggle London. One year after pansy had shown him that pamphlet. He finally knew who he was. A cis gay man. He and pansy went to many LGBTQ+ organisations and along the way he made some great muggle friends. They helped teach him to learn more and more about the community, and what it meant to be a part of something so beautiful. 

The parade Draco went to looked somewhat like the pictures. The feeling was different from looking at dull photos. He could hear people cheering, yelling, being happy and having fun. Pansy was right next to him, wearing a black leather skirt and a white t-shirt with many pride flags on it. There were so many booths and so many places to see. The streets were filled with colour. For once, Draco didn’t have to think before he acted. He was invisible here, no one knew his crimes. No one knew what he had done, and best of all no one told him he couldn’t be there. This was a place he truly belonged; home. 

At first, it was scary. So many people around and so much to do he felt overwhelmed. He and Pansy found places step by step. Soon the sun was already setting and his legs were burning, aching from the day. Pansy and Draco agreed to go to one more booth together.

Before they reached it, Pansy found someone in the line, a girl with red hair, and disappeared with her. He went up to the booth alone, which was selling special edition pride gemstones. As he was about to reach the vendor, Draco saw someone familiar. Who had round glasses and black hair? 

Shit. 

The person turned around and he saw a glimpse of that familiar scar and blinding smile.

Potter!?

__________________

Harry knew he liked boys. He tried to ignore it. The Dursleys were not kind about people being different; they were cruel to people like that, like wizards or queers. Aunt Petunia and Vernon would go on long rants explaining to Dudley how gay people were wrong and how he should never interact with them. Telling him they were the dirt of the earth. Harry had to believe them. What choice do you really have? When you’re living in a house with no other people to rely on except for your abusive manipulating relatives. You can’t really think twice about disagreeing with them. If you do, it’s off to the cupboard with no food or water for days. 

It was funny, wasn't it? Harry lived in a cupboard for half his life and even after getting out—he was somehow back to the start.

He hadn't known how much he liked Oliver Wood in first year. Oliver Wood, who was practically an angel sent from whatever Wizarding religion existed. Oliver had a structured jaw and almond eyes. Like dark chocolate ice cream. Melting into them was not something Harry was even aware he did. He always felt a twinge of guilt, remembering how he wasn’t able to win the quidditch match, and how disappointed Oliver would be after.

*

But by the time Cedric had come around, he knew. No matter how much he tried to ignore it, convincing himself he liked Cho, pretending to fall for her shy smiles and competitive behaviour. But that just wasn’t possible. Cedric had always caught his eye. With his soft flowing hair and raspberry cologne, to him tipping Harry about the golden egg, all the way to his lean slightly lanky body and his eye brightening smiles. Harry always used Cho as an excuse to stare at Cedric.

‘I can’t believe someone like Cho would date stupid Cedric?!’

‘Mate, that’s the third time you’ve said that today.’

‘Ron’s right, Harry. You have been ranting an awful lot about Cedric’

He thought he was being secretive. His friends could never know about his crush. After all, who hates the person they have a crush on? But even then his friends knew him better than to assume he liked women. 

“Cedric had soft skin.”

“Harry it’s the middle of the night! Go to sleep for god's sake”

“No, but it’s like buttermilk. You know?” 

“Harry I’m really tired and you need to shut the fuck up. We have to get up early for transfiguration, remember? McGonagall will feed us to the pixies if we’re late again.” 

*

With the start of fifth year, Harry grew increasingly irritated. His friends were hiding things and his crush died in front of his eyes. One minute they were running to the cup together and the other Cedric was lying dead in the graveyard. Killed by one of James' best friends, no less. 

So much for Gryffindor loyalty.

At least he had Sirius right? Sirius who told him stories about James and the marauders when they were his age. Sirus who always helped when he was in a bad mood. Sirius who stayed with him when he couldn’t sleep. Telling him he understood. He didn’t need to explain himself. Sirius was his second dad. Sirius was also dating Remus. His former DADA teacher. 

‘Your dating professor lupin?!’

‘Harry, it’s okay.’ 

‘But—the Dursley’s said it’s wrong? They said it was a sin!’

‘The Dursleys are wrong. They were wrong about magic, weren't they? They told you that was wrong too. But it isn’t. It wasn’t. Just like how being gay or liking the opposite sex isn’t. It’s just rare.’

‘I guess that makes sense. Thanks again Sirius. I—I’m happy for you and Professor Lupin." Harry had said with a hesitant smile.

‘No need to thank me. I know I’m great.” Sirius had said, accompanied by one of his famous smirks.

*

After the war ended Harry felt numb. Red and gold walls covered his room at Grimmauld, though even on the brightest days everything looked dull.

Some weeks were better than others, in which Harry would get out of bed and explore the house, on those days he would eat dinner with Remus, Sirius, and their son Teddy. They would talk for hours. Hermione and Ron would join in sometimes, talking about what was new at the burrow and what Hermione was doing at her job. Everything seemed to slowly mend itself together. There were more days where Harry spent the time with his godfather and Remus. Helping them take care of Teddy. Helping them with meals. Or even just sitting next to them. Harry wouldn’t admit it, but it truly helped him. There were still days where he would feel undeniably alone and broken, but he had people who cared for him and they helped him when he couldn’t help himself.

Harry would leave Grimmauld place once every few days to go to muggle London. Blending in with the crowd was always so calming. No one knew who he was. No one cared who he was. Walking in and out of malls and stores buying things that looked so normal but yet so out of place. He filled his rooms with posters and objects. He went to the muggle cinema. Harry tried doing anything and everything a normal child would. Sometimes alone, sometimes with friends and family.

One day in June while wandering about, Harry found a parade filled with rainbows and brightness. It gave off a calming and happy aura. Everyone was wearing colourful clothes and holding flags and signs. Someone held the word PRIDE over their head, written with bold letters on a poster. Not quite sure what this festival was about Harry went home that day with a fresh question to ask his uncles. They sat him down and explained what Pride month was. Telling him how it was a month to celebrate who you are and be proud of your sexuality or gender identity. They told him how most things were on a spectrum. It wasn’t always gay and straight or boy and girl. 

The day after Remus and Sirius went to the store and bought Harry the same bright clothes. One they had quite a laugh about was ‘gay but not mentally okay.’ 

Harry bought a lot of new clothes with Sirius and Remus. With just enough time to join a parade close to them, Harry invited Ron, Hermione, and Ginny. Remus and Sirius brought along Teddy, and they all walked happily together. His uncles took little Teddy somewhere else, wanting to give them all a chance to explore for themselves. They found two adjacent booths that were still open, Ron and Hermione wanting to look at one, Harry and Ginny at the other. The line was busy, so Ginny and Harry contented themselves talking about Quidditch, until Harry looked away for a moment too long, and when he turned back, Ginny was gone. 

He had made it to the front when someone behind him yelled his name. Harry jumped and turned around to see a pale man with blond hair staring at him. The person looked somewhat terrified and confused.

“Malfoy?!”

**Author's Note:**

> This fic is part of the GWB summer Vibes gift exchange. If you'd like to spread the love, [ consider reblogging the tumblr reveal post!](https://triggerlil.tumblr.com/post/626091411548340224)


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